My Story

My name is Ruben, and I’m a men’s coach, mentor, therapist and calisthenics trainer. I live in the Netherlands and want to create a world where boys can become the best men they can be by giving back the support I wish I had when I was younger.

I grew up in a relatively quiet and safe town in the Netherlands, where I attended a Waldorf elementary school. Because of the divorce of my parents when I was three, I became dependent on my mother for love and care. I needed to ‘manage’ my mother and her emotions, so as to feel safe. So, in order to be safe and loved, I chopped off parts of myself that I couldn’t permit myself. I stopped having needs, I became agreeable, and I played Nice and small. I repressed my anger, desires and true feelings. I became frozen inside.

Growing up without a father, I had no idea what it meant to be a man - and I felt ashamed of my incompetence. My masculinity was non-existent, and I cultivated traits that were typically Feminine: sensitive, agreeable, emotional. However, when I found the mentors I needed, After years of addiction and depression, I was able to turn my life around by getting a job, leaving my parental house for good, and getting a long-term girlfriend.

And, after having had my own journey towards mature masculinity, I now want to help young men like you to overcome their obstacles and find their own masculine alignment. It is my hope that I can contribute to the healing of the people and the planet by empowering others to bring their gifts into the world.